Archive for May, 2011
For Love of Power
Posted by dlugocoll in Short Fiction, Stand-Alone on May 31, 2011
Sorry about the long wait between posts! I thought I had set up the rest of “Rain’s Truth” to publish but apparently I hadn’t đŚ Anyways, here’s the final draft of one of two stories recently done for my Short Fiction class. Look for the other one sometime in the next week. Hope you like!
For Love of Power
âDoesnât he seem lonely to you?â Sharon says to her long-term boyfriend, Brian. The two sit at the schoolâs food court eating lunch.
âWho, Nathan?!â
âYeah⌠Geez, donât sound so surprised. He just⌠I donât know. I heard him say to someone that the reason they didnât know much about him was because he didnât want them to. I mean think about it, how much do we really know about him?â
âWell⌠heâs an English Major right?â
âYeah, but why?â
Brain shrugs. ââCause heâs creative?â
âThatâs not a reason to be an English major. Why not Art? Dance? Theater? No, I think he became an English Major because it was easy.â
âOr because he was good at it?â
âThat sounded like a question, was that supposed to be a question?â
âUm⌠no?â
Sharon stares at him. âWhatever. Maybe itâs easy for him because heâs good at it?â
It was Brianâs turn to stare back. âDidnât I just say that?â
âOr, maybe heâs just lazy?â Sharon ignores Brianâs staring, focusing on her food.
âHe is a geniusâŚâ
âGeniuses are crazy, Brian, not lazy.â
âAre you saying he isnât crazy?â
âIâm saying that heâs not quite there. Heâs the high-functioning autism of crazy.â
âSo heâs social enough to not be a genius, thatâs what youâre saying?â
ââŚNo. Maybe. Yes?â
âMake up your mind, Sharon, is he crazy and a genius or not crazy and just lazy?â
ââŚWho said he canât be both?â
âSo heâs crazy, lazy and a genius?â
ââŚSounds like an English major to me.â
âPshh. To be fair, I donât really think heâs a genius. Heâs good at what he does, but heâs not really⌠awe-inspiring.â
âWhat?! Are you kidding? I definitely think heâs awe-inspiring.â
Brian laughs, âYou would. He definitely takes care of himself, always dresses wellâŚâ
Sharon gasps. âYou donât thinkâŚ?â
âI didnât say that⌠But I think itâs a possibility.â
âWhy? No, now you have to explain it.â
âWell, what I just said. Plus he rarely talks about relationships and when he does he uses a gender neutral pronoun.â
âAll-right, and he isnât always groomed⌠but you are right about everything else. Ugh, how could I be so blind!â Sharonâs head folds into her hands, her hair dangles very close to the food in front of her.
âYou werenât, heâs very subtle.â
âWait, so then how did you notice?â
Brian thinks, shrugs. âNo idea. Just something I noticed. You know, it was probably because he talks to guys more than he talks to girls.â
âYeah, but heâs more honest with the girls.â
âYeah! Thatâs the point! I guess thatâs the weirdness about it. Sometimes, if you pay enough attention, you can hear him talking to you the way you talk to women⌠Well, the way I talk to women. I guess thatâs what makes you think about that in the first place.â
âWait wait wait, you think he wants to sleep with you?â
âWell⌠maybe. I told him I had a girlfriend.â
Sharon was quiet for a while. âHuh⌠I could have sworn he was hitting on me though.â
âMaybe we should invite him to dinner, really get to know him? And then we can find out exactly who he was hitting on.â
âI like this plan. Done.â
Nathan agrees to the diner date. In truth he was rather attracted to both of them, which was rare for him since he wasnât usually attracted to women. For the next month or so the three agree to date, and spend as much time together as possible. Despite Sharonâs ignorance however, Nathan is aware that this isnât about sex for Brian, itâs about power. Nathan, always a good judge of character ignores his instinct in favor of the beauty between Brian and Sharon. After a month or so, Brian invites Nathan camping with him while Sharon goes back home for Spring Break.
Nathan stands at the riverâs edge, nude, as goosebumps riddle his flesh. They were most obvious around the backs of his arms and across the top of his chest; anywhere a blonde hair that would normally be invisible was made to stand on end. He rubs his arms together as Brian comes to stand next to him, also naked. Nathan fights to keep his eyes above the non-existent belt, focusing instead on Brianâs defined pectoral muscles. He looks up and notices that Brian is looking at him, so Nathan decides to keep staring, ignoring the power struggle for now.
He watches the goosebumps rush along the tops of Brianâs pectoral muscles and around the backs of his arms as well, coming down onto abdominal muscles that slowly lose their definition and a thin line of light, manicured hairs that start at the end of his sternum and lead the eyes down, past the âinnieâ belly button. Despite its presence in his periphery however, Nathan looks away from Brianâs crotch, taking time to examine the rest of his body.
Nathan watches the trapezius muscles on both sides, made prominent through daily exercises, move as Brian rotates his shoulders. He lifts his arm across his chest in order to stretch it out, and Nathan watches the flexing and relaxation of various muscles made visible by the movement. The light blond hairs along Brianâs arm, nearly invisible against his pale skin, are completely absent on Brianâs chest.
Nathan is thankful for the cold exterior temperature. He can feel the heat of his own body radiating now, activated by his scrutiny of Brian, by what feels like a transgression against the relationship. He knows it shouldnât though, and he doesnât bother to stop. It would only become awkward if Nathan sexualized the encounter or made it more about power than discovery. He continues, very careful to avoid both in his⌠examination.
Nathan starts over from the bottom up, examining legs that had dirty blonde hair running along the outsides, but not the back. Brian bends over to stretch his hamstrings, and Nathan witnesses the scapulae stretch and relax as well, watching several muscles on the back that would have been invisible on Nathan. Brian straightened and gives Nathan one deep, long, look eye-to-eye, before running into the river.
Nathan runs in after him, swimming and splashing around. The two swim upstream a bit, fighting against the current, so that they can float back down. Brian lies down on the water, floating as Nathan swims up to him.
âConfession time.â
âWhat?â
âI canât float. Iâve never been able to.â
âSeriously?â Brian treads water a little bit, and the two move towards the shallows. He spends some time trying to teach Nathan how to float, but more and more it seems like a physical impossibility, Nathanâs lithe frame doesnât allow for enough buoyancy. It seems like Nathan is about to get it and Brian starts slowly moving away, but then Nathan starts sinking. Brian lunges closer and Nathan sits up. Suddenly the two are well inside each otherâs personal space. Nathan echoes Brianâs look from the shore while Brian surprises both of them by leaning in first, gently pressing his lips to Nathanâs. The two stand in the shallows for a while, Brianâs arms awkwardly hanging by his sides. Nathan reaches up and gently places his fingertips to Brianâs elbows. Brian responds as Nathan thinks he will, by reaching out and pulling him in.
Once the moment is gone however, the two never talk about it. It also never happens again. Sharon seemingly remains ignorant it ever happened, and Nathan doesnât feel it is his place to tell her, being the newcomer to their relationship.
Nathan stands in the hallway of Brian and Sharonâs apartment, having just come out of the bathroom. Three months in and he practically lives here, but has never spent the night. Brian and Sharon are in the back room talking about something. The door opens, and Sharon comes out.
âHey Nathan, I know this is a little weird, but can you give me and Brian the night alone? I know we asked you to spend the night butâŚâ
âYeah, no worries Sharon. I know this isââ
Brian comes storming into the room looking furious and Nathan shuts up, he can guess what happened. Whatever Brian says is incoherent, but sounds something like âWhy is that bitch still here I thought I told you⌠argragarg.â Not too sure on that last part.
âLook, he means a lot to me, and you saidââ Sharon is attempting to remain calm in the face of Brianâs irrationality.
âI know what I said! Youâre being unreasonable!â
âIâm not being unreasonable, Iâm responding to what we agreed to.â Her voice is tight, trying to be restrained.
âNo, you are taking what I said and using it to justify whatever you want. Youâre manipulating me!â Despite the fact that Brian sounds like heâs whining, his physically imposing presence lends his complaints a certain credence. Brianâs exiting from the room has placed both of them, and their argument, in Nathanâs path to the front door. He shift his weight, looking around, arms crossed over his chest, shoulders hunched. Nathanâs face looks kind of squished, as though staring into a large fire, but without the eyebrow raise.
âIâm not manipulating anything; THIS is what you wanted, now you have it, and suddenly youâre freaking out about it. I am not your mother. I am NOT going to sit here and walk you through your issues and your insecurities and hold your hand through this. So you need to grow the fuck up, and if this isnât what you want, you need to be civil about it!â Sheâs lost it.
Nathan tries to jump into the fray, his voice pitched low and calming. âLook, guys, I shouldnât have rushed youââ
Brian either doesnât hear or doesnât care. âHow dare you! I was civil about it! I told you I wasnât sure this was going to be the best arrangement and you went ahead and did it anyways!â
âYou did not! We had two talks about this, TWO! And the second one ended with, âI do like him, and I think I want to try this.ââ Nathanâs face resumes his previous appearance. His shoulders roll inwards.
âExactly! I THINK I want to try this! That does not mean Iâm ready to dive in head first!â
âFOR THE LOVE OF GOD!! You ASKED him to be in this relationship! Man the fuck up!â Sharonâs hand rises back out of Brianâs field of vision as though to slap him. Nathanâs face goes slack, eyes wide as soon as Sharon cusses.
âYou know what?! You need to go! I am sick and tired of yelling at you about what I want. You donât want to be here for my âinsecuritiesâ,â Brian actually does air quotes around insecurities, although itâs more like a representation of him wanting to reach out and gouge her eyes than any sort of punctuation mark people generally imagine. âThen fine, get the fuck out and donât come back. Because thatâs part of the job, and you should have thought of that before you signed on.â I canât tell if he saw the hand, but heâs moved into âso mad Iâm crazyâ territory.
âYou canât kick me out, IâM THE NAME ON THE LEASE!â He looks furious, starts turning red, turns to the door, and starts walking away. Neither of us moves.
The door slams.
Sharon turns to Nathan, her fists are clenched by her sides, and she is shaking. Nathan breaks the silence first.
âIâm just going to go.â
Sharon nods without speaking, takes a deep breath and heads back into the bedroom. Nathan stops by the white-board next to the front door, uncaps the dry-erase marker and writes on the board: âCall me if you need me. ââ He pauses. Nathan considers writing Brianâs name on the white-board instead of his own. He looks back towards the bedroom they usually share, looks up, his vision so fuzzy heâs not sure he can write anything. Nathan lifts up his shirt, rubs his eyes, and finishes his message: âBrianâ then leaves, closing the door behind him. He grips the railing for dear life on the way down, since he canât see the stairs. By the time he gets to the bottom of the stairs, his shirt is no longer useful for wiping away the tears.